All Progress is Good Progress

GymMomGuru:

My oldest daughter Sam did two seasons of Level 4 AND two seasons of Level 5. Jessie did one season of Level 4 and two seasons of Level 5. Some of their teammates moved up more quickly.  At the time, I was frustrated they were not “staying with the group” and moving up to the next level. However, what I learned after looking back on the situation, is repeating a level was the best thing that could have happened to each of them. They developed confidence, got a taste of success and mastered the basics. They were able to quickly progress through the levels after their slow start. Oh yeah, and they caught up with their group, so that was not a big deal. 

I know it is stressful when the coach tells you that your daughter could benefit from another season at their current level. However, the coach is working with your daughter in the gym at every practice and knows her struggles, fears and maturity in the sport. The coach is usually the best judge as to which level she should compete. My advice is to trust the coach. 

My daughters are perfect examples of gymnasts who benefitted from staying at the levels a little longer and mastering the basics before moving up. They zoomed quickly through Levels 6-10 (although some gymnasts will zoom through compulsories and then get struck at a higher level a little longer). They all progress at their own rate and speed.

The moment a mom decided to quit gymnastics

One gym mom's illumination and insight.



Hat tip:  Flip Zone Gymnastics

Shouldn't every parent do this? ;-)

Good job, Heather!

Today was a Great Day

Lisa's letter to her daughter:

Today was a bad day. You fell on beam. You missed your connections on floor. You didn’t reach handstand on bars. Your execution was low. Today was a day you wanted to quit. All that hard work for what? All those long hours of training, missing out on friends, missing out on parties. Getting up early, struggling with being tired. What was it all for? It was for nothing. A big fat zilch.
Today you wanted to quit. Today you wanted to hang your grips up, you wanted to wipe the mag off your rough and bleeding hands for good. You wanted to throw away all your leotards and be a “normal” kid one again. You wanted to turn your back on something that was so engrained in you, such a part of you that cutting a limb off would be the closest thing to it.
Today was a sad day. The disappointment etched in your face, the hot tears burning your skin as they tumbled down your cheeks. The hurt clearly displayed on your little face for all the world to see.
Today broke two hearts. Yours and mine.
Today was hard. Hard for you. Much harder for me to watch you fall apart. I wanted to swoop in and save you from this heartache. I watched helplessly as you fought those demons that tortured you from inside. I was powerless to stop them. I felt like a failure as a mother as I hadn’t protected you from this hurt.
Today was a struggle. The little voices in your head told you that you were no good. They told you to quit. They tormented you and filled you full of doubt. And with doubt comes failure. I watched you in a tug of war with your mind. I saw the inner turmoil that threatened to consume you.
Today was a battle. Somewhere deep inside of you a war was raging. Would you let disappointment and hurt win? Would you let those mental demons tear you apart? Would you fall and never get up again? No. You gathered your strength, you stood up to those voices. Every fibre of your being held steadfast in your resolve. I saw my little girl fight from the core.
Today was a day of hope. The flame that burns inside you, that had all but been extinguished today, flickered again. You held your head high as you watched other gymnasts, not better than you but who had cleaner routines, stand up and receive ribbons and medals. I watched you hug your team mates, congratulating them, sharing in their victory. The joy that had been robbed from you was soon replaced with the love you felt for your sport. I saw that tiny glimmer of hope light the dark place that was your heart. I saw you banish the voices in your head saying you should quit, you were a failure, that you were no good.
Today was a good day. Today you learnt things that I could never teach you. You learnt how to lose. You learnt how to fight back. You learnt the importance of not always winning. You learnt how to take disappointment and turn it in to a positive. You learnt that love prevails. You made me proud, much prouder than if you had a gold medal hung around your neck.
Today you won.
Today was a great day

Sunday Funnies

Ban and a Hex on W Sitting

Kill it wherever you see it:

I had a patient recently ask me if it is okay for her thirteen-month-old daughter to be W-sitting during playtime. The short answer is: absolutely NOT! 
It is never ok to be sitting like this for a prolonged period of time, and should be stopped immediately whenever you see it. There are a few postural and developmental reasons for this, and I'll go into some detail on all of them:

• Hip Distortion

• Knee and Foot Distortion

• Poor Development of Core Muscles

• Lack of Cross-Body Coordination

Read on...

How do you coach your gymnast at home?

Spoiler alert:  You don't:

Your gymnast does gymnastics at home. All the time. In every room. And you’ve watched enough gymnastics to know that certain things she’s doing are incorrect. So how do you make these corrections at home? You don’t. Let me repeat that. Do. Not. Coach. Your. Child. At. Home. Nothing will make your child’s coach cringe internally more than hearing that you worked on x, y, or z at home. You are not her coach. Don’t do it. Don’t even tell her to point her toes.

The bottom line is that gymnastics is your daughter’s (or son’s) sport. She puts in the work at practice, she feels the pressure at every competition, and all those little mistakes you see that you’re sure you could fix if they’re so obvious even you see them? Yeah, her coach is trying to fix them. I promise. Being a gym mom or dad does not qualify you as a coach at home.

I would know because my own parents were, in fact, elite gymnastics coaches at the same time I was making my way through the optionals program at our gym. In fact, if you followed gymnastics in the 90s, you’ve probably heard of my parents, Tom and Lori Forster.

Read Asha Forster Grebenik's blogpost.

Hat tip:  "Dunno"

Sunday Funnies

Sunday Funnies

Marc Jacobs

Cultivating the Growth Mindset from Age 1

Via Gym Gab Blog:

The way I praised her effort took a little effort on my part. If I hadn't known better, I might have just said, "Clever girl!" (Or even "Here, let me help you with that.") What's so bad about that? Read on.
Stanford researcher Carol Dweck has been studying motivation and perseverance since the 1960s. And she found that children fall into one of two categories:

• Those with a fixed mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their innate talent or smarts
• Those with a growth mindset, who believe their successes are a result of their hard work

Fixed mindset: 'If you have to work hard, you don't have ability.'
Kids with a fixed mindset believe that you are stuck with however much intelligence you're born with. They would agree with this statement: "If you have to work hard, you don't have ability. If you have ability, things come naturally to you." When they fail, these kids feel trapped. They start thinking they must not be as talented or smart as everyone's been telling them. They avoid challenges, fearful that they won't look smart.
Growth mindset: 'The more you challenge yourself, the smarter you become'

Kids with a growth mindset believe that intelligence can be cultivated: the more learning you do, the smarter you become. These kids understand that even geniuses must work hard. When they suffer a setback, they believe they can improve by putting in more time and effort. They value learning over looking smart. They persevere through difficult tasks.
What creates these beliefs in our kids? The type of praise we give them -- even starting at age 1.

Read more on the research.

Questions to ask your child during that car ride home...

Gym Gab:

“How was gym today?” is a question every gym parent wants to ask their kid on the car ride home. Unfortunately this age-old, open-ended question loses it’s importance when the word “fine” become the oh-so common answer.  Here is a list of 25 questions to ask your athlete (not all in the same day of course), that will provide some welcome variety to you and your athlete!

1. What were you most proud of at gym today?
2. What was the hardest thing you did today?
3. What correction do you remember the most today? And why?
4. What compliment do you remember most today?
5. What muscles do you think worked the hardest today?
6. Were you proud of any of your teammates today?
7. Who was a great example to you today? And why?
8. What was the funniest thing about gymnastics today?

Go to the blog to check out the rest of the list.  Any questions of your own?

I posted this last September:

The 6 words parents should say to child athletes

Work Harder

Proactive Coaching:

At age 13, I went to my dad to complain about a situation where I didn’t think I was being treated fairly by a coach. My dad listened very closely to the whole story and then looked at me and told me something that stuck with me for the rest of my life… He simply said, “Work harder”, and walked away. Lesson learned. Stop whining and get to work. Instead of rescuing, excusing and enabling our kids by blaming others and fighting battles for them, or going immediately to the AD, principal and school board to demand the coach be fired… think about teaching our kids the simple wisdom of taking responsibility for your own situation.

Sunday Funnies

Marc Jacobs

Happy Mother's Day

"𝙈𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣." 

- 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗺 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲

I grew up listening to The Carpenters. One song that had always stood out in simplicity and efficacy is one by Henry Mancini called "Sometimes". The lyrics were written as a simple poem by his daughter wanting to express her love and gratitude for her parents. Mancini set it to music. Karen Carpenter brought it to life with her voice.

To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day. This song always makes me reflect upon my relationship with people; upon how much everyone who has ever crossed my path has meant to me, in one form or another. I feel gratitude and love, even for your simple "Hello"'s.

And I reflect upon my own mother today who has given me everything she could possibly give. I hope I have given her as much happiness in return, and then some.

Thank you, Mom.

When it's time to hang up the leo and grips...

Every gymnast's journey comes with an expiration date; and although we might mourn the end of the journey, like a kind of death, what is important is that we remember how worthwhile the journey was:  All the valuable experience and lessons acquired and the memories; and the realization that there is also rebirth.

Hat tip to Rick for this valuable article, written by a gym mom whose daughter reached the moment when she knew it was time to close this chapter of her life...and start the next journey.

The Words You Choose Can be Just as Abusive as Spanking or Yelling

Interesting article from a week ago (hat tip:  Eric Amundson), WaPo:

It’s hard to discipline children. You can’t hit them. Timeouts are not effective. Now, a study out of the University of Pittsburgh says yelling at teens and tweens — particularly when it involves cursing or insults — can be just as harmful as hitting. So what can you do?

Remember that the word “discipline” originally meant to teach, so look for opportunities to coach your child, not just punish him for a misstep.

~~~

There is a difference, of course, between being verbally abusive and using a sharply raised voice. Yelling alone is not always damaging, although the surprise of a sudden change in volume can cause a child to be fearful or anxious. It’s often what is said that is harmful, according to Deborah Sendek, program director for the Center for Effective Discipline (CED).

Read the rest.

That Car Ride Home...

From the end of an article in a previous related post:

So, I ask, what do you say on the car ride home?

Gahan says: "What about, 'geez, I love watching you play out there'?"

The post earlier today linking to an article that's been making its rounds on the importance of letting your kids know that you simply love watching them do their thing, is also being linked to another article that inspired it:  What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One, by Steve Henson.

 Hundreds of college athletes were asked to think back: "What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?"

Their overwhelming response: "The ride home from games with my parents."

"I ♥ to watch you do gymnastics."

August 30, 2010

The 6 words parents should say to child athletes:

The Gymnast with the Pearl Necklace

A year ago to the day...

Deanna's tagline:

Like peanut butter on the fingers of a curious toddler, this post is begging to be shared.

And so, here I share.

You know those moments of euphoria when you are so overwhelmed with love and pride for your child that every bit of kicking and screaming- crying and wailing- frustration and fear- all of it was worth it just for that one moment?

That was me today in class as I stared at my child who set out to prove me wrong- who CAN follow an obstacle course with children her own age without pitching a fit- who CAN follow simple directions to "climb" "walk" and "jump"- who CAN throw herself as a willing participant into a class environment and have a good time.

Read the rest.


What captured my attention were the cute photos:

The Parent is the Anchor

John Geddert:

Anchor: a person or thing that provides stability or confidence in an otherwise uncertain situation, provided with a firm basis or foundation

It is my belief that this is the role that every parent should play in the lives of their children, and more appropriately for this blog topic, the lives of athletes. Parents need to be the anchor in which the athlete can depend regardless of the situation, through good times and in bad.

Athletes need that place to which they can turn, that consistent safe haven of support. An anchor that holds things in place when rough waters want to toss them about. An anchor that keeps their minds from drifting to places that are undesirable. This is the role of the parent.

Setting a proper anchor is not as easy as it sounds however. Parents must learn the appropriate amount of rope to use on their anchor. Too little or too much rope and the anchor loses its effectiveness. Parents that work with too little rope create a situation where athletes cannot learn from mistakes, they feel stifled and smothered. These parents hover over every move, every decision, are “overprotective” and fail to allow the learning process to take its course. These parents are undermining, and manipulative and make the development of a coach/athlete relationship next to impossible. Consequently the athlete becomes accustom to mom or dad making all the decisions, and fails to develop this important ability. Give your kid and those responsible for their training a little rope.

Allowing too much rope is equally as frustrating. Too much rope puts the athlete in a situation to make too many important decisions. Disciplinary issues go unchecked and eventually multiply due to the lack of direction. Too much rope usually retards the development of proper behavior, attitudes and respect for authority or norms. Monitor how much rope you give your children and reel them in from time to time.

A properly set anchor represents that unconditional love and support. Parents need to be their child’s number one fan, not their coach, their trainer, or their sports psychologist. Leave this to the professionals.